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Tuesday Night LAP Dance
Leonard A. Pappano
October 11, 2011
The LAP Dance is for entertainment purposes only. It employs literary devices such sarcasm, satire, stereotypes, exaggeration, complete fabrications and slander (or is it libel?). The opinions and delusions expressed are purely those of the author. Any offense given is unintended. Please read at your own risk.
** I wonder what went through Al Davis’ mind when he saw God wearing a Franco Harris jersey and drinking a beer with Art Rooney….
** With the ball only a few yards away from the end zone, we watched Texans QB Matt Schaub inexplicably flip a short pass directly to Raiders S Michael Huff on the last play of the game, preserving a Raiders win. Without a hint of sarcasm, DS writer Kevin English blurted, “That pass was for you, Al.” Indeed.
** Speaking of the Raiders win on Sunday, it was moving to see HC Hue Jackson drop to his knee after the win – while Mark Davis was tearfully celebrating from the owner’s suite. That is exactly what Davis meant to his family, and what he meant to the members of an iconic franchise. To my mind, Davis’ greatest moments came back in the 1960s when in 1963 he refused to let the Raiders play a preseason game in Mobile, Alabama because of the state’s segregation laws. And again in 1965, when Davis supported protesting players and helped move the AFL All-Star game from New Orleans to Houston because of racial barriers in New Orleans. Jim Crow was an insult to anyone with a sense of common decency. And Davis stood up and did the right thing at a time when it wasn’t necessarily a popular decision.
** Our very own DJ Sanzotta calculated fantasy points per touch. The leaders at RB were Darren Sproles, Michael Bush and Beanie Wells. At WR it was Dez Bryant, Denarius Moore, and Miles Austin. And at TE it’s Rob Gronkowski, Scott Chandler, and Jared Cook.
** Lions WR Calvin Johnson has 9 receiving TDs – most of any WR through the first 5 games since 1940. At his current pace, Johnson would break Randy Moss’s single-season record of 23 TDs set with the Patriots back in 2007.
** Giants DE Jason Pierre-Paul is one of those rare guys who gets drafted for freakish athletic ability… but then actually pans out. He’s second in the NFL with 7 sacks, and looks to be headed to the Pro Bowl in just his second year as a pro. Yes, my man crush is official.
** Despite outscoring opponents 111-106 this year, the Vikings are 1-4. Remarkably, they also have a plus 3 turnover ratio. It’s truly a team that has found ways to lose.
** A quick shout out to Duane Campbell who took down $100 in the FREE Draftstreet.com fantasy salary cap game a few weeks ago. If you missed it last month, the folks at Draftstreet are setting up another free roll for Draft Sharks readers. They specialize in daily and weekly fantasy leagues — with cash prizes – by putting together your very own Dream Team. Hurry on over right now and compete to win $300 this week. Yep, it’s a FREE shot at cash prizes, so check it out right now.
** One thing that might have sunk QB Kyle Orton as the Broncos starter – his INT ratio. Nearly 4.6% of his passes have been intercepted this year. He seems to be in good company with Pro Bowlers Michael Vick (4.1%) and Philip Rivers (3.8%) right behind him.
** Patriots QB Tom Brady threw his first ever regular season red zone INT at home vs. the Jets. That’s pretty impressive for a guy playing as long as he has.
** Spotted after the Bears/Lions game last night was Kid Rock in the Lions locker room sporting a t-shirt that read, “If you don’t like Hank Jr. you can kiss my a**” My two cents: I think Hank was way off base to compare President Obama to Hitler. On the other hand, I don’t like a lot of what Sean Penn and Tim Robbins have to say about politics – but I’m not about to go to burn my “Mystic River” or “Shawshank Redemption” DVDs. I’d like to hear Hank belt out the Monday Night Football song because it’s a great song.
** The Panthers have 6 rushing TDs this season, 5 by rookie QB Cam Newton. There’s no way the kid bangs out 16 rushing TDs this season…. Or is there? In any event, Cam’s a near lock to beat the eye-popping 9 rushing TDs that Michael Vick put up last year.
** The Tampa Bay Bucs have led the league in sophomore jinxes in recent years. First it was former WR Michael Clayton tanking in 2005. Then 2005 Rookie of the Year, Cadillac Williams, bit it back in 2006. Now last year’s rookie sensation, WR Mike Williams, is on pace for about 600 yards and 3 TDs. That would be way off the mark of 964 yards and 11 TDs he notched last year.
** A few years back, I was in my front yard with a bunch of guys passing a football around. One of my buddies takes a close look at the ball and yells, “Hey – isn’t this an autographed ball. I see it’s signed, but I can’t make out the name anymore because it’s all smudged…” It was autographed by former Bears DE and Hall of Famer Dan Hampton – a guy I once hired for a WCOFF party, and had the opportunity to chat with at length. I always make sure to use that ball when it’s wet or muddy outside.
** The NFL announced that the league will keep playing a regular season game in London from now till 2016. Never let it be said that continued failure ever stopped a bad idea when it comes to marketing NFL football outside the U.S.
** Titans RB Chris Johnson wanted to assure fans in a recent tweet: “Never gonna stop my grind. All the greats go in slumps Imma gonna be out of it. It just makes the success that much sweeter.” The Titans are dead last in rushing as a team with 66.6 yards per game. CJ signed a $53.5 million deal this offseason.
Lenny Pappano
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